How To Parent: Dealing With Kids’ Demands

Does Your Child Say This? “I want it now.”

Does Your Child Say This? I want it now.Does Your Child Say This? “I want it now.”

Do you dread the threat of a temper tantrum, and feel like you give in to your child’s demands in order to avoid an outburst? In this month’s issue, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents, shows you how to defuse a tantrum by using an effective response aimed at teaching your child that acting out is not the way to meet his needs.

“I want it NOW…” followed by a tantrum.
Translation: If I escalate my behavior, you’ll give in, and I’ll get the cookie. I know. I’ve seen you do it before.
Ineffective parenting response: “Sarah, stop it! I said stop it! Here…(gives Sarah a cookie) now be quiet!”
Effective parenting response: “Don’t act that way. It won’t help you get the cookie.” Then turn around and walk away.

Does Your Child Say This? “I want it now.” reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents. For more information, visit

James Lehman, MSW was a renowned child behavioral therapist who worked with struggling teens and children for three decades. He created the Total Transformation Program to help people parent more effectively. James’ foremost goal was to help kids and to “empower parents.”

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