Parenting & Raising Kids

When trying to figure out how to stop kids from lying, parents should first examine the reasons why the behavior is occurring in the first place. Kids and teens lie for a variety of reasons.

1. Kids lie to avoid punishment and getting in trouble for something they’ve done. It is much easier for a teenager to blame the scrape on the side on a hit and run fellow driver in a parking lot than to take responsibility for causing the scrape due to not paying attention while operating the vehicle. Siblings blame a broken toy on each other or on the family dog instead of admitting that they were the ones who broke it.

2. Some kids lie to amuse themselves. Parents often overlook this reason that some children use withholding the truth simply as a way of manipulating adults and watching adults pursue the wrong avenue to solve a problem based on the lie. For example, kids might make up a story just so they can watch the parent’s reaction such as claiming falsely that a sibling got injured playing outside so they can watch the parent frantically run outside for nothing.

3. Another reason children lie is to get what they want. An example of this is a child lying that his or her homework is finished because completed homework means time for video games or outdoor play. Telling the truth would mean the kid would have to do schoolwork when he or she doesn’t want to. Another example that would fall into this category is lying to obtain an item. Kids might tell one parent that the other one said it was ok to have more cookies or to get a new toy from the store.

Although there are other causes for lying kids that would be a good topic for another post, there’s one more that I want to mention here and this is one for parents to really ponder.

4. Some kids lie because they are emulating the same behavior they see their parents exhibiting!
cell phones, children, kids, lie, lying, parenting, parents, teens

I brought up the issue of kids having their own cell phones in an earlier post. Let’s assume for this post that they do indeed have them.

Should parents program the phones to only access certain numbers? Should parents regularly check the phone (sometimes with the kids full knowledge and sometimes without) to see whom their kids have been talking to for hours on end?

Would you consider that an invasion of privacy or just smart parenting?
cell phones, children, kids, parenting, parents, teens

You may also see Oppositional Defiant Disorder listed as O.D.D., Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or ODD. However it is listed, if you are a parent with a child who has been misbehaving severely, and you are looking for solutions on your own or even in cooperation with school counselors and your pediatrician, you will probably come across this condition at one point or another.

It can be very confusing for parents and teachers these days with the array of various diagnoses for childhood behavior problems. The DSM-IV-TR, which is the current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the bible of the psychiatric industry which is published by the American Psychiatric Association [APA]), details the criteria for diagnosing a child with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Criteria include a child losing a temper, arguing with adults, and defying rules set by adults, among other things.

It should be noted that most children will exhibit these behaviors at one point or another. The diagnostic criteria also state that these behaviors are severe and prolonged, and repetitive. They also have to interfere with the child’s regular functioning as a member of the family, classroom, or society.

Parents should be cautioned that labeling the problems will be helpful in determining a course of treatment (and will probably be a relief after trying to find an answer to the kids’ behavioral issues), but this should only be the first step in finding ways to change the child’s behavior.
children, kids, ODD, oppositional defiance disorder, parenting, parents, teens

I must be on a roll today with these “when should you let your kids get” posts. What about kids first cell phones? This should closely be followed by the thought do kids ever need their own cell phones?

I don’t think they need them until they are driving. Of course they should only use them while driving if they wear a headset or maybe not at while the car is moving if that is the parent’s rule. I do think it only makes sense that you would want your kid to have a cell phone in the car in case of an emergency.

I talk to parents who say their kids are getting in trouble in school and having their phones confiscated because they are ringing in the building or the kids are caught text messaging their friends during class. Let’s not forget that teens will often amass large phone bills by wildly exceeding their minutes.

I know there is pressure out there…just look at the cell phone commercials which prominently feature kids who couldn’t possibly be old enough to drive talking away on their own cell phones.

What do you think?
cell phones, children, kids, parenting, parents, teens

It’s been almost two months since I wrote about the DYMO Labelmaker as everyone was getting ready to go back to school. (Where did that time go? It’s almost time to start putting up the October classroom decorations.)

Anyway, if you didn’t take my advice them and get one of these useful and fun electronic label makers, it’s not too late and in fact, now that the academic school year has been underway for a few weeks and the kids are starting to get into subjects in depth, now may be the perfect time.

The number one item on any list of tips to help students perform better in school is for them to get organized. Labeling everything they use and in their environment works towards this goal on several levels. First, using the label maker is fun for the kids so it gets them motivated to start the whole process. Second, you can’t label things when they are messy so the kids need to take the plunge and organize all their stuff.

Once everything has been arranged neatly and the stickers have been applied, the kids will stay organized because everything has a place and the place is clearly marked. The labels will also help avoid confusion with school books if they covers are identical. It is so disheartening and disruptive for kids when they realize they grabbed the wrong book from their lockers or desks and can’t do their homework as a result.

By the way, as you can see from the picture below, these label makers are not just great at organizing school supplies. They can do wonders for your office or home office too.dymo, label maker, labels

The cell phone or the baby?

How sad is it that we have really come to a point in society where that headline is a reasonable observation of public behavior?

What I am talking about here is something I once witnessed at a public event. It was an outdoor event in a carnival like atmosphere. A woman was letting her baby crawl around outside in the dirt! I was shocked. I said to my friend, “How can she let the baby do that?”

My friend looked over and noticed something I had missed. She responded sarcastically, “Well, obviously, she can’t hold the baby at the same time she has to balance her cell phone and her drink.” Sure enough, my friend wasn’t kidding. The woman had actually put her baby down to crawl in the dirt so she could have her drink and hold her phone!

Is it scary or just sad?AT&T cingular. motorola, blackberry, cell phones, cellular, cellular phone, mobile, mobile phones, nextel, parenting, parents, sprint, treo, verizon

It’s that time of year – back to school time and that means back to school gifts for students and teachers. (Notice I saved this entry for when the kids really are going back to school – not in the beginning of July when the retailer stores start putting up the school sale banners!)

  

  


There are thousands more Personalizable Teacher Gifts here.

If you want to make a unique gift for your favorite child or teacher this year, it’s easier than ever thanks to websites which allow you to personalize gifts by adding names or other special messages. Actually, you could add dates too which could turn a child’s gift into a lifelong keepsake if it has date of the child’s first day of school on it.

There are thousands of choices available, but these are a few of my favorites. I hope they help make back to school fun for everyone in your child’s life.back to school, back to school gifts, school gifts, teacher gifts, unique school gifts

Disciplining Other People’s Kids

It’s amazing what you can learn about society from watching old television shows. I once wrote an article based on the expectations and societal roles of husbands and wives based on observations from how Samantha and Darrin behave on Bewitched.

I have a different twist on that today in the topic of disciplining kids that are not your own. This observation is how societal expectations have changed over the years. I was watching the highly regarded AMC show Mad Men the other day (which is set in the early 1960’s) and I was completely taken by surprise by a particular scene in which one character actually slapped another character’s kid inside the kid’s own house and told the kid to behave.

I can’t even imagine that scene taking place on a TV show set in our times, much less imagine something like that actually happening in this day and age. Can you?

It makes you realize how what we find acceptable has changed so much over the past fifty years. (Kudos to the writers for dreaming up that scene and making it so very ordinary in the context of the show.) If you saw something like that on a show today, it would not be a passing scene, it would be the focus of an entire episode and the parents of the child who got slapped would be suing their former friend for daring to hit the kid, regardless of how the kid was behaving.

That leads to an important question. In real life, how would you handle disciplining a friend’s child?AMC, child, children, disciplining, kid, kids, Mad Men, society