Parent Coaching Role

Despite the title, this blog entry isn’t about parents acting as coaches for their kids’ sports teams. It’s about the role that parents play as coaches in their kids’ lives as discussed in The Total Transformation Program.

Parents need to teach kids to comply with authority. That is further broken down into two steps:

    Recognizing Legitimate Authority
    Responding Appropriately

Parent Coaching Role In Action

The example that James Lehman used in the parenting course materials was a child being told to sit down by a teacher during class time. The child has to recognize that the teacher has the authority to determine when a students should be sitting. Then the child has to respond appropriately by complying with the request without arguing, making excuses, etc.

This is pretty straightforward. I’m sure you can think of a million other examples. The important point here is thinking of the parent as a coach – here’s where the sports analogy comes in. A coach doesn’t just tell a team member to do something and expect it will be done perfectly every time.


Parent Coaching Role means setting behavior standards and encouraging them.

The first step in a parent coaching role is emulating the desired behavior.

First, the coach explains or models the behavior he or she wants the child to emulate. Then the coach provides numerous practice opportunities. He or she also offers encouragement along the way and consequences if a player willfully violates a rule or purposefully does something wrong.

Getting the individual players and team in shape to win a game and ultimately a championship definitely doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long term effort needing continuous attention. Unfortunately, the trajectory will not be completely forward either. There will be setbacks and disappointments. The important thing to remember is keeping one’s eye on the ultimate prize.

When you frame it that way, it really illustrates why thinking about parents in a coaching role makes perfect sense.

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