Playing The Martyr

For everyone who has been waiting for the continuation of the Total Transformation reviews, this is the latest entry and there will be several more to come over the next day or so.

When we last left off discussing the topic, we were going over the parenting mistakes that James Lehman identified in the program.

This next one is about playing the martyr. As soon as you read that line, you probably thought of a friend or co-worker who has that routine down perfectly. Isn’t he or she totally annoying with it? Is it really effective? Guess what, parents…it’s not an effective parenting technique either.

When parents take on the role of playing the martyr, with their children, they end up doing everything for them. Examples would be a parent who continually tried to wake up the kid ten times in the morning rather than forcing the kid to be responsible and get himself out of bed. Another example would be a parent that does more than help a child with homework; the parent actually does the homework for the kid.

These parents fool themselves into believeing they are helping the situation, when in fact, they are making it worse. That’s one interpretation. Another is that the parent acts that way for ego gratification…acting outwardly self-sacrificing while internally performing the behaviors to be feel good about himself or herself.

Regardless of the motivation, the result is the same; the parent creates learned helplessness in the child by never expecting the child to take responsibility for his or her own work.

Learn how to stop playing the martyr and create self-sufficiency in your kids.

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